When it comes to parenting, persistence does pay off

Several months ago, my 10-year-old son started having difficulties in school.  He was missing assignments, not completing, or turning in his daily work, and to make matters worse, was lying to me about it.  I quickly met with his teachers to list his challenges and develop a plan to get him back on track.

I also decided to become more involved in his education.  Not that I hadn’t been before, but as he got older, I felt it was time for him to be solely responsible for his school work. Perhaps this was too soon!  I realized that a little guidance and accountability goes a long way.

After his teachers and I developed a “make-up” plan, I had a discussion with him about expectations, and consequences for not meeting these expectations. I also believed that encouragement and accountability on my part would help get him into a routine I was hoping would eventually become natural to him. When he arrived home from school, he and I would gather his assignments, I made sure he understood them, and made myself available for help, if necessary. If any assignments were incomplete or forgotten, consequences quickly followed. Consequences need to be base on each individual child and should be something that will have an impact. For my son Nathan, they included the loss of privileges such as television, computer use, and video games. He was only allowed to read.

During the first two weeks, I did not see much progress and become very frustrated. I felt there was no hope. I was beginning to think he just didn’t care or was behaving this way for spite.  Daily consequences were becoming more the norm than not.  You would not believe how many times I wanted to give up!  However, with support from friends and family, I pressed on.

I think that after many weeks of being grounded, and realizing I was not going to give up, he started doing better; even his attitude toward his schoolwork changed.  What a relief!

It was hard work, but in the end, it paid off.  Through all, I’ve learned that children need to know what’s expected of them, and we as adults have the responsibility to hold them accountable. When expectations are stated clearly, I believe they’re easier to follow and less likely to be forgotten.  I’ve gone as far as posting his chores, and responsibilities on the refrigerator door!

Finally, don’t forget to praise them for doing well.  All efforts are void if your children don’t see value in what they’ve accomplished. My son was especially excited when his teacher read him an e-mail she was going to send me one afternoon.  In the e-mail, she applauded his efforts and encouraged us all to continue the path we’ve started, and we plan to.