How books saved my emotional life

I don’t remember exactly when I started reading novels. But I do remember that when I did, I couldn’t stop. It was probably during my teenage years because I vaguely remember closing the door to my room and stepping into an imaginary world that gave me hope to keep living.
As melodramatic as that may sound, during that time, that’s how I felt. Flashbacks of my childhood still bring about feelings of sorrow like a scar that has failed to fade in time.
The frequent quarreling, domestic violence, and verbal abuse that were part of my upbringing were at times too much to bear. Many times I wanted to run away, but as a frightened child, I had nowhere to go, no one to turn to. Thankfully, I discovered the power of imagination.
I received a romance novel as a gift, and after reading a few pages, I was hooked. At first, I couldn’t understand how anyone would read a book with no pictures. After all, isn’t that what gives the reader images of scenes, characters, and story?
To my amusement and surprise, the images started forming in my mind. I was creating a mental film guided by the imagery depicted by the author. It was my world, the world I created from someone else’s words and my growing imagination.
I was able to transport myself to a world where in the end, everything worked out for the best, which is what I prayed for in my life every day.
So for the next several years, I spent a lot of time in my bedroom reading. With each novel, I felt closer to my happy ending. Slowly my emotions became under control because these novels gave me hope for a better tomorrow. Reading had also become my self-heaven, my escape to a world with no more sorrow …
When I went to college, I had to put my books away to concentrate on my future career. After four years, I graduated; moved out of state; married; and sadly, divorced after 13 years of marriage. Getting my life back together was challenging because I had a son; was starting a new career; and from a financial standpoint, had to start over. I thought about hitting the books again, but there was no time for reading; it was time for restoring and surviving. Survival mode kept me busy enough to put my emotions on the back burner.
I didn’t pick up a book again until I married for a second time. The stresses of a second marriage and blending families were overwhelming. I needed an outlet that would once again stimulate my mind in order for me to get my emotions back on track. I started reading again, except this time, I read inspirational, religious, and self-help books.
I also began therapy sessions and practiced meditation; however, it wasn’t until I started practicing what I read in my self-help books that I began to get better. My favorite books, which were all about changing your thoughts to live a happy life, were life-changing. Once I was able to identify a negative thought, I learned to take a deep breath, analyze its root cause, and make every attempt to change it to a positive one.
The process hasn’t been easy for me, especially when at times I feel I may be compromising my convictions. However, I’ve discovered that not everything I think or feel defines who I am. And if it does, I cannot expect others to feel as I do. This can lead to necessary disappointment because you can’t change how others feel or think. The only person you can change is YOU!