This may cause some controversy among women, but I think there are a few things men should know about us.
When we’re emotional, we just need you to listen. Not to give your two cents, but LISTEN. By listening, I mean, being attentive, and showing verbal and visual cues that express you are genuinely interested in what we are trying to say. Not listening would only make things worse, and yes, we know when you are not listening! After our moment of ranting, all we’ll need if for you to reassure us that everything will be alright. In essence, we need to feel safe, protected and validated.
When we’re irrational and push your buttons, it’s because we want you to hurt as much as we are. Pretty crazy, eh? We don’t do this for revenge or for the mere satisfaction of torturing you; we just do it, and most of the time we hate ourselves afterward. We don’t wake up in the morning in a bad mood thinking, “Hmmm, I’m feeling a little crazy, so I think I’ll torture my mate!” We DON’T do that. It just happens. The best way to diffuse the situation to avoid greater havoc is to allow us to cool off. We will always find our way back to your arms and say, “I’M SORRY!” Well, most of us do.
We all have our own ways of cooling off, coming to our senses or getting over it. Figure out what your woman needs from you. By no means am I asking you to put up with anything and everything- absolutely not! I’m only saying that some quarrels can be avoided, or kept from becoming a huge fight by handling them differently. This can be as simple as saying, “Honey, I know you are bothered; if there’s anything I can do to help you feel better, I’m here. I’m going to give you time and space, and don’t want you to think I don’t care.”
In a quote from the movie Look Who’s Talking that I somewhat remember, actor John Travolta said something like this to his little friend Mickey: “I think being a good father is keeping the mother happy so she doesn’t drive everybody crazy.”
Women, be nice to your man. We all know that most times, we’re emotional for no real reason, our hormones are raging, or we are angry about something else. Let’s give our man the opportunity to walk away and not have to deal with our lack of self-control. You may be able to avoid many fights you may later regret. Even worse, damage your relationship in the long run.
Men, you might want to know…
